I went to check on our newest pet acquisition, the minnows from Memorial Day Mayhem. We were down to four. (Don’t ask.) When I looked in the bowl, I counted three fish. I looked again. Still three. But no floating, belly-up companion about to meet the porcelain graveyard. Not a single sign of him. I called to my kids and asked them if they’d scooped out a dead fish. None of them had. So, what happened to fishy number four?
I’m guessing cannibalism didn’t only happen with Donner Party. Or, since the bowl is right next to a sink with a large drain, perhaps the fish just jumped and decided to take its chances away from our less than stellar pet care clutches. My kids and I had some fun coming up with other less likely, but more fun, theories.
1. Very small aliens abducted the fish for to conduct research experiments.
2. The Penguins of Madagascar came to our house on a secret agent mission last night and ate the fish. We woke up before they could get to the other three.
3. The fishy heard that the uncle who is on the US Flyfishing team is coming for a visit, and it swam away in fear. (Said Uncle practices catch and release only so fishy really wouldn’t need to worry.)
4. Fishy swam off to join a cult where they chant: “Must learn to walk. Leave water behind. ”
5. A neighbor’s cat came in and had an appetizer.
6. Our fishy had his own Finding Nemo moment and decided, “All drains lead to the ocean!” (Except this is a freshwater fish. But, you know, just details.)
7. The ants which have invaded our laundry room decided to stalk into the bowl and carry away the fish to become their new god.
8. The fish jumped into the two-year-old morning rat’s nest of hair and it’s still hiding in there, waiting to be found once the hair is combed.
9. There was a nuclear reaction in the middle of the night which caused the fish to mutate and suddenly sprout wings and lungs and fly away.
10. The fish was asked to become a spy for the CIA. He’s swimming towards North Korea right now.
11. (My favorite theory) My toddler had her first taste of sushi. I did forget to give her an afternoon snack yesterday…
Leave your very own solution to our missing fish mystery in the comments. You have to love a good imagination!