My Son the (Mad) Scientist

mad scientist
My son has been blessed with a very scientific mind. In first grade, his teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. His response? “A Mad Scientist.” Yeah, I got a phone call about that one. Mainly just to chuckle about it with me. (Probably also to find out if he was trying to reanimate parts of cats or create a flesh-eating bacterium he could hide in his lunch box and unleash on his unsuspecting classmates.)

Now, my eleven-year-old has mostly taken the mad part out, but he still loves science. He sees a machine and wonders how it works. Then he proceeds to take it apart just so he can find out. (My printer and vacuum have fallen prey to his clutches at different times.) He spends his free time reading books on science and building projects and gizmos. He has a high bunk bed and has rigged himself a pulley system so that he can turn off and on his light while lying on his pillow. It doubles as a burglar alarm because he leaves it on the light and if anyone opens the door, his light comes back on. (I found this out while I was sneaking in to put laundry away one night. I jumped so high the pile I had in my arms had to all be refolded.) He is most fascinated by physics but dabbles in chemistry and biology, too.

I recently found one of my bowls in the freezer with now frozen water inside of it. I asked who put it there. My son piped up, “I did. I wanted to see just how much water expands when it is frozen.” Okay, I can live with that. Then, ten minutes later he got it out and was running it back and forth across the length of my counter. “See how the melted water reduces the friction and it goes faster?” he asked. “Plus, it makes a cool hockey puck.” That it does. And guess who forgot to wipe up the counter after until he was reminded?

He’s constantly carrying around paper clips which he can bend into different shapes because, “you never know when you might need one.” I told him that was ridiculous. That very afternoon he used one to pick a lock on the bathroom door when his cousin had locked herself in. Son-1 Mom-0.

Whether he’s explaining the difference between a motor and an engine, or using his latest rope system to tow around his sisters in their wagon with his bike, I know his science skills far surpass mine. They did by the time he was five. This kid’s first word was “off” because he was fascinated by the light switch. And, as the first child, I actually had time to hold him up to it and let him flip it on and off until his scientific curiosity was satiated.

His most recent scientific discovery had me speechless. “Mom, I know that people fart in their sleep.”

“What!? How in the world do you know that?” I asked.

“Well, every morning when I wake up, I haven’t farted yet but when I lift up the covers, it smells like fart. So, it’s scientifically proven that people fart in their sleep,” he stated, with a definitive nod of his head.

One can only hope that he’ll use his scientifically advanced mind for such important, life-altering discoveries in the future which will surely advance the state of all mankind.


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