The Case of the Missing Diaper

As I was waiting for the Kindergarten bus today with some lovely ladies in my neighborhood, they noticed something I hadn’t.
“Andrea, are you potty training your two-year-old? It looks like she has on underwear, ” one asked.
Not even bothering to look I responded, “No, she’s just bumless. She looks like she doesn’t have a bum even when she has on a diaper.” It’s true. All of my girls have been bumless. Their pants have a hard time staying up once they’ve been potty trained. I wish I had this particular affliction, but alas, I am well enough endowed in the southern hemisphere. Must come from Daddy.
“Are you sure? ” my friend persisted. “She really looks like she doesn’t have a diaper on.”
My cute two-year-old was wearing leggings. As I looked little closer, I saw no tell tale elastic puckering underneath the leggings. I saw no panty lines either.
I peaked down the waistband and, sure enough, the cutest little bare bum greeted me.
“She must have taken off her diaper while I was in the shower!” I exclaimed, my face reddening. Everyone chuckled heartily. But I still had a bus to wait for. How long could two-year-old hold out?
I pondered how I could have missed a stray used diaper somewhere on the floor. I am somewhat unobservant, but I don’t think even I would miss that.
The bus arrived, and we started home. I was carrying two-year-old to get her home more speedily until another friend pointed out that she was likely to wet all over me, too. Too true. So, I put her down and attempted to cajole her along. But she and her five-year-old sister were too interested in the bike jumps and the dirt pile they encountered along the way. I was attempting to get them out of the all-too-enticing dirt pile when two-year-old stood up and proclaimed, “I pooped.”
Lucky for me, she didn’t actually go number two. But she did pee-pee down both legs and into her socks.
A bath and an outfit change later, we were finally ready to get on with the rest of our day. But I still haven’t found the diaper she took off herself. I’m telling myself she just put it in the trash. I’m really hoping my nose won’t find a urine-filled surprise in a cabinet or drawer somewhere. And now, every time I get out of the shower, I’m going to have to check and see if she’s a little more bumless than usual.


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