My Two-Year-Old’s Wardrobe Malfunction

I love Halloween. The candy, the games, trick-or-treating, the entire package. But what I love most is dressing up. I dress up every year. I don’t think I’ve missed a year ever. And now that I have four kids and a husband who dress up with me, my Halloween happiness is exponentially increased.
I was in charge of this year’s Halloween party for my church congregation. The youth and their leaders put on a party for all the families. Some of the young women wanted to do a costume parade.
Hooray! What could be better? A chance to see all the cute kids and show off my own. I dressed in my renaissance princess outfit. I happen to have an identical dress in size 2T. (Lest you think I am getting too domestic on you, I didn’t sew them. I bought them, mine one year, the little dress the next.) All three of my daughters have taken their turn being my mini-me. But the current two-year-old’s turn will go down in history.
I lined up proudly with my little mini-me in tow to parade her around the tables of people waiting to see all the trussed up kiddos. We walked in, my face wearing the satisfied smile of a mommy who knows her kids are just too darn cute. I was so busy looking at all the people smiling that I didn’t look down at my two-year-old. Then I noticed those smiles were turning into smirks and giggles. Finally, a kind friend pointed out, “Her costume is off her shoulder.”
It was more than just off her shoulder. It had slipped so far that every part of her little chest on one side was exposed to the entire gaggle of parade watchers. I hiked the costume up and kept marching on, her precious hand still in mine, my smile faltering noticeably. Then, a ways further down, someone else pointed out that her costume was more appropriate for a strip club than the church parade. (My internal dialogue, not their actual words. ) Red in the face, I let go of my daughter’s hand and instead grasped the back of the costume for the rest of the parade.
I don’t know what happened. When the five-year-old wore it last, it was fine. But she did wear it in Disneyland, so maybe it got stretched out. Maybe I had always put a shirt underneath and had just forgotten. But, whatever the case, my two-year-old’s wardrobe malfunction rivaled some televised ones in recent memory. Good thing she’s only two, and that the people who saw her know that I would never purposefully dress her in a peek-a-boo outfit. For trick-or-treating, the cold won’t be the only reason my little one sports a shirt underneath her dress.


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