Hot Tub from Hades

My hubby and I stole away for a romantic pre-Valentine’s weekend. We had it planned pre-diabetes diagnosis for our seven-year-old, and my wonderful mother agreed to still come and tend all the kids and take on the duties of being a pancreas. She is amazing.

With everything that has been happening, the hubby and I needed to relax, recharge, and rediscover the love that had led to the creation of the crazy fun family from which we were getting a break.

Now, gentle reader, lest you think this post will delve into intimate details, let me reassure you that I will write nothing of the kind. However, if you are adamantly opposed to the idea of a married couple getting into a tub together, skip this post and read another. If, however, you can handle the notion, read on for quite possibly the most unromantic, yet entertaining, hot tub experience that has ever happened in the history of hot tubs.

The bed and breakfast in which we were staying was equipped with a jetted tub for two. Not knowing how long it had been since it had been cleaned, we turned on the jets before getting into the tub ourselves to flush out any impurities.

Impurities we got, in spades. When we had filled the tub up somewhat and turned on the jets, disgusting brown and grey flakes shot out along with the water. I don’t want to speculate on what they were. I prefer to think it was hard water deposits and leave it at that. Otherwise, what happened next is more horrifying than hilarious.

When we saw the flakes come out of the tub, we exclaimed, “Gross!” and attempted to find some sort of cleaning agent we could flush through the system. Nothing was at hand, and while we were searching, the jets really started ramping up their power. What started out as a powerful but tub-bound stream of water soon grew in intensity. It grew so rapidly, we had our own World of Color, right there in our room.
Disneyland 2010 160
Jets of water were shooting first four, then six, then eight feet out of the tub. The carpet around the tub was soaked before we even registered what was happening. “Turn it off!” I yelled!
“I’m trying!” my poor husband shot back, “the button is stuck!” And stuck it was. Not just sort of stuck but completely, not-moving-at-all stuck. We could not turn off the jets.

“Quick, get me some towels!” my husband yelled as he attempted to cover the geysers shooting from our tub. While he covered the jets, I turned on the water so the level would eventually cover the jets.

After about five long minutes, the water filled enough to keep the jets from shooting out of the tub. But by that time, the footboard of our bed was soaked, along with the clothes that were hanging off the end of it. The bags we had packed, even though they were zippered shut, got soaked enough that the clothes inside were wet.

You may ask why we didn’t simply call the front desk as soon as we knew the jets were stuck. Good question. Why? My husband had already disrobed. We were, after all, planning on getting in the tub.

Yep. I still have the perfect image of him getting sprayed all over, attempting to hold back the Niagara Falls of jetted tubs with a couple of bath towels. All while wearing only his birthday suit. I had not yet taken off my clothing, but I wish I would have since it got soaked during my failed attempts to help him. A small (OK, more than just a small) part of me wanted to simply get out my phone and snap a pic of the hubs bending over with arms spread wide, towels somewhat effectively pressed on the jets all while naked as the day he was born. I resisted the impulse however.

Hopefully, you weren’t just drinking, or your beverage may have shot out of your nose as powerfully as the jets shot from our tub. Sorry, I won’t be responsible for any damages.

After finding clothing way at the bottom of my bag that was sort of dry, I went down to the front desk to tell them what had happened. The lady was super nice, said she was, “horrified and so sorry” and then proceeded to say she would come up to clean the tub “right then.”

Swallowing the giggle that had momentarily escaped, I told her to let me give my husband some warning, ran upstairs and told him to put on the driest thing he had (a robe and a pair of sweats that came from the depths of his carry-on that were still pretty wet).

The front desk lady came in, proceeded to start cleaning the tub and actually said, in what was an attempt, I’m sure, to lessen the emabarrassment for all of us, “Just pretend I’m not here.”

Hmmm. If she had really thought about that statement, I’m sure she didn’t mean it. After 20 minutes of scrubbing and using W-D-40 to get the jets switch unstuck, she finally left, telling us that the owners wanted to comp us a future stay.

Being the frugal people that we are, we took them up on it. But, I don’t think we’ll be using the tub during our next stay.


A Letter to My Hubby on our Anniversary

SCAN0003Forgive me for posting something so personal, but my husband is just so great, I had to share!

Happy Anniversay, Hon!

Seventeen years! What a ride. I’ve learned so much from you, honey.
1. I’ve learned what true beauty is.
Before we were married, I couldn’t ever think of myself as beautiful. But, every time you look at me, every time you speak about me, every time I see my face reflected back in your eyes, I know that I am beautiful, inside and out. Seeing my true beauty is a gift you have given me.
2. I’ve learned what true friendship is.
Before we were married, I had lots of friends; I am lucky enough to still count a lot of them as my friends today. But living with you has made me realize what friendship means. It means listening and supporting without any judgment. It means helping and encouraging, even when things looks bleak. It means always giving more and taking less. You are the first person I want to share anything important with, good or bad.
3. I’ve learned what true love is.
Before we got married, I bought into the fairytale version of true love. And though we have close to that version, we also have so much more. True love is getting up with kids in the middle of the night to help me clean up vomit. True love is making me laugh when my day needs a little brightening. True love is sticking up for me when I’m right and gently reminding me when I’m wrong. True love is holding my hand, occasionally holding your tongue, and always carefully holding my heart–close to yours, as tenderly as you’ve held each of our newborn babes. We may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. Love from here to eternity. You are my greatest blessing, and always will be.

Nurture Your Marriage: Get Out into Nature

Think of the most romantic spot you’ve ever been. A few of you might be thinking of a restaurant or a theater or some other indoor venue, but most of you are probably thinking of some location in the great outdoors. One of my favorites is Hawaii. Just look at the pics on my blog. The sound of the ocean surf, the scent of tropical flowers, the feel of sand between your toes while you walk hand in hand down the beach. Perfect romantic environment. It doesn’t get any better. But we don’t live in Hawaii. However, there’s still plenty of romance to be found in nature closer to home.
My hubby and I were looking for a date the other night. He suggested going hiking up a nearby canyon. It was wonderful and fit the romance bill.
There’s just something about fresh air, beautiful scenery, and no distractions that add up to a romantic atmosphere. Add in a sunset (and subtract the kiddos for a couple hours), and you have the perfect equation for romance.

donut falls

The mountains have always been a favorite of mine. My smart hubby even proposed to me while we were hiking. He wanted to propose while we were having a picnic on a huge rock in the middle of a stream as we watched a waterfall cascade down through a hole in a rock. But, too many other people clogged the area, so he waited and brought out the ring while we were hiking back. He chose a picturesque tree near the trail, stopped, and got down on one knee when we were alone. (Sigh. Eyelash flutter.) I still love that trail.
elephant rock view

Last Friday was great, too. When you’re out in nature, you have nothing else to do but admire the view and really talk. And, it doesn’t hurt to steal a kiss or two when the opportune moment presents itself. We did toy with the idea of having my hubby wear the two-year-old’s monkey backpack leash while I held onto it and led him along–just to see the reaction on the other hiker’s faces–but I’m glad we didn’t. Laughs are always great, but romance, with four kids and a mortgage, is often hard to come by.
So, if the romance factor in your marriage has been a little lacking lately, get out into nature. You and your spouse will get your groove back faster than you can tie on your hiking boots. Where is your favorite romantic spot?